Fodder, Alone

These past few days have felt very grey. I realised why this morning, when I found a particularly funny method name in our code, and went to open a messenger window with GD, only to be reminded that he was gone. This is a bit of an extreme response to having a co-worker leave – I feel like I’m in mourning and he isn’t even dead! But to be honest, I wasn’t ready to go back to having lunch with the grads. I couldn’t sit there, waiting for him to show up, only for him never to arrive.

Mr Brioche and D were working from home, Michael was in a meeting, had nobody else to have lunch with. I did something I haven’t done in a long time, and took my book and had lunch in the park. It was pretty nice weather for it, even though the sun and I don’t agree with each other, if you go by the sunburn scars on my shoulder.

I think I needed the time alone. Ever since I finished the video, I’ve been trying to keep myself moving. No time to stop and think. It’s bad to be sad, and if I keep going, I can just power through until I get used to the fact that he’s gone. I still think I can, but it’s just little things that catch me off-guard. He runs, so running reminds me of him. He really likes chicken. His favourite colour is blue. OK, now I sound like a demented person, but you get the idea. I think spending lunch alone was a good time to just process things in my mind. Without the pressure of having to be “happy”. I actually felt a lot lighter afterwards.

MrFodder says my writing has grown stale ever since I started the 365 photo challenge, so for something different, here is some GD inspired poetry!

We never needed words,
Just a quick exchange of code
For every troubled task
We could always share the load

Silence…

Memes and investigations,
Life with you is never dull.
The sun now rises elsewhere
‘Til you return it will be null.

Today’s title is inspired by an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I think it’s an amazingly deep episode for a children’s cartoon.

Anyway, this trip is a positive thing, and I shouldn’t dwell on the past. I am glad to have had the opportunity of having a friend like him, and my life has been made brighter because of it.

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